Disappointment and my disappearance

I'd love to tell you I'm back, I'm blogging, I'm loving life. I'm not. I've been going through a great deal of random crap. I'm broke, I mean, dead broke. Don't have lunch money kinda broke. June was a rough fiscal month. So my go to feel better strategy, which I DO NOT recommend, lads. Do NOT! Shopping for polish and make up and jewelry, is not even viable. Not to say I haven't been doing some of it. I'm sorry, the ModelsOwn sale is ON. Go hit it. Box sets of gorge for 20BPS? I was so there! But my financial sitch guaranteed I could only get one set and update my HedKandi collection. (Excited for Bora Bora!) I must be on a no buy. I must. A no buy from EVERYTHING, mind you. Excepting essentials. You know, like dinner. Because lunch is not in the budget.

Given this horrible situation should fall right when the Rescue Beauty Lounge Blogger collection 2.0 was coming out...*sigh* All I can really say is *sigh*. However. And you know I love RBL, I was in the first round of ReBeLs to sign up for the Lounge online, I have been a ReBeL since freaking Black Russian was new. Yes. That long. (and it's fab go pick it up) So I try, I try to find a way to pre-order because pre-order is the shit. You know you'll get your polish and it's all good. Only...by the time I could get to the computer and try to find a way to make this happen financially...Scrangie's new one was already sold out. In pre-order. I don't know how the business works, I don't know how the polishes are created and supplied and I'm not really interested in becoming a blogger with a polish business. I think lots of others do this better. Ji Baek, who owns RBL is one of those. But it sold out? It kind of poisoned the collection for me, I have to admit. I was so disappointed. I tried to order the others and wound up not doing it. It sold out in less than 24 hours. I haven't been back to find out what is going to happen now. I was just...deflated. I've been deflated a lot lately. Literally. I've been losing weight, through no magical process of my own, I promise you. Or maybe it is because I don't know how I'm doing it...but still. Regardless. I digress. Bet you guys have missed that, haven't you? LOL

Now mind you...I had seen Scrangie's post on her polish and it's pretty but I wasn't that jacked about it. Olives don't look that great on me, they're OK, and they don't go with anything I wear, not makeup or clothes...but I was interested. It's to have an oil slick appearance and that's intriguing. However, in the swatches she posted, it looked primarily olive to me. I apologize Scrangie, if it's actually not! That's what I saw. It was sort of the principle of the thing. Wha-huh? Gone already? HOW? I assume they get a certain number of bottles, they throw the pre-sale out there and then when those are filled they release it to the not so big of fans who don't get the emails? Maybe? I guess?

I'm not swearing off RBL, far from it. I am going to try to pick up what I can when they release to the public if I have any fundage, which is debatable. But I feel kinda spurned...kind of kicked. How dare I have a job that is so freaking up tight that I have to watch every internet usage and not be able to hit the pre-sale right when it's announced? Who do I think I am to not make that my number one priority? That I didn't have the money is irrelevant because that's my problem. The thing is, I couldn't get the entire collection even if I did have it. How dare I have to spend my evening comforting a bestie going through hell rather than rearranging my limited resources to buy polish?

I know this is not what RBL is saying, I know Ji is probably scrambling her brains to try to fix this for us, I have faith. Maybe everything else I'm going through right now is coloring my perception. I'm sure she was shocked and amazed to have that kind of turn-out in pre-sale, probably was blind sided by that. And that's great. It means her business is booming, it's growing. I'm happy for that. No ill feelings at all. If she ever reads this post, Ji, I'm telling you! I love you! I love your polish! I love you read and talk about what you're reading on your blog! (I'm reading smut. We don't talk about that. And no, not 50 Shades of badly written smut, either.)

But still...I feel a little rejected.