Monday, September 16, 2013

I'd have to be crazy.

So, when I quit this asylum that has been my job there were countless counter offers. I didn't even ask what the pay increase would be, it wouldn't be enough. I didn't care. I still don't. When people call inquiring about the position I am completely detached. I've been really unhappy there.

Today, the boss came to me and asked me to stay a little longer. I told her I'd think about it because I'm just too freaking nice. I don't want to. I was so excited this morning for it to be my last Monday.

I just re-read yesterday's post. I'd have to be out of my mind. I don't make that much, I'm not giving up a ton of swag by not doing it. It doesn't extend my benefits any longer and honestly, I kind of like the idea of sticking my immediate supervisor with my month end because while I am not generally vindictive, it would just amuse me to take a nap and know her ass was scrambling.

I think my story is that my BFF has to go back to Europe for work and she and Dads have put their heads together to send me along as a surprise vacation. Because that not only says no way am I staying but it also says "and I don't need you people", too.

I'm a rubbish liar though, so...But honestly. I'd have to be nuts.

Oh, and the fish yelling lady has teeth in her bra, too. That happened today. Yep. I'd have to be crazy.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Life is weird.

My job is hell. That's how I refer to it. When I'm leaving for work I say I'm going to hell. It's noisy, it's often smelly, I'm not compensated for everything I handle and I am interrupted constantly.
It's a psychological fact that has been recently proven that we lose 10 IQ points in the course of a task each time we are interrupted. I should drool there. I used to joke at my last job that I was considered to be little better than a trained monkey but at this one, given everything, I'm not as gifted.


Couple this with the fact that it's nearly impossible to get any time off because my boss is constantly gone and I have to cover her job, though she doesn't cover mine when I have to be out, (She runs morning reports. Big woo.) and I have to squeeze my days off (NEVER around a holiday. EVER. Oh no. She gets those, as she told me verbatim about one.) in around her PTO schedule...Effing hate it there. I hate it.

So...I sat down with Daddy Warbucks, who informed me he was sick of this shit, sick of my being strung out, overworked, mistreated, tense, nervous, and generally miserable, and that he would help me financially if I was able to come up with a plan. I ran to the only thing I could think of: get my nail license. So I am. Tomorrow I go in for my last Monday in that vile place of banjo tent revival creepy music, coughing, crying, begging and fish scolding (not even making that up) and into school for 600 hours of training to start doing nails for serious. Getting a conventional job wasn't working and my resume is freaking intimidating. It's in.tim.i.da.ting. I haven't had an interview in over a year. If luck holds I should be able to get the other table with BMWWU and therefore will have a friend and mentor in place already and I can start working. Bless my friends, they are being both supportive and anxious for me to start taking them on as clients and so I feel I'm already building a clientele. I understand if they don't follow through, though I hope they do, and as part of what I'll be learning is salesmanship I'm hoping I'll take clients on fast and start doing something I will hopefully love rather than something I'm only good at.

And too, I'm really ready to start putting beauty into the world rather than comforting the suffering. Not that it isn't worthwhile, it completely is, way more so than the admittedly kind of frivolous thing I'm planning to do, if you only look at the surface. But I believe doing this well is an art and art is important. It elevates the human spirit, I honestly believe that. I know for myself that a good mani-pedi can make me feel better for days because I've done something comforting and relaxing for myself and because I feel a little more confident. I bet you feel the same if you are reading this. Giving someone that is important, too.

My one girlfriend pointed out that I have a niche to exploit and I'm making mental notes of things I want to cultivate to separate myself from others in the area. I have some ideas.

So I'm excited about this. I had some wrinkles finding a school, but I have gone past that. I start at the end of the month once I turn in my paperwork and write the check. I plan to take a little time off to recharge. My job has killed little pieces of my soul just from all the just...petty bullshit. I mean, I don't know how else to say it. Having to tamper my natural temperament and inability to keep my mouth shut has killed a piece of my soul. That sounds so mellodramatic but it's how I feel. That I have a part of me I need to resurrect. The part that has joy in simple things, that relishes quiet rather than craves it, that isn't afraid to let my personality shine through. I feel I've been squished into a robot mold from months of overwork, pressure, deadlines and criticisms.
However. My head is bloody but unbowed. (Thanks DP, though you'll never read this.)

Once I get some detox time in I plan to look for a part timer because it's not fair for Daddy Dubya to foot all my bills and the cost of school as well, plus essentials like gas, food, shampoo, toothpaste, etc. It simply isn't. And hopefully I can make some bank and love what I do when I'm done. As you know, a good manicurist can do OK for herself and work anywhere and is recession proof. And I intend to become good. Great if I can swing it.

Thank you all for listening and for reading and especially commenting and sticking with me. I hope to get back to this, but I don't know when. I enjoy doing it and sharing what I find.

For today, I secretly squirrelled a color idea from a friend so I need to get some nails did and let him know what he inspired! (Thanks, L! Though you don't know what help you were yet!)

Maybe I'll get it posted. We'll see.

Love you guys!

Happy Talons!